Put deadbeat Michael Rotondo on ‘The Bachelor’ ASAP

The choose has dominated: Michael Rotondo has every week to depart his father or mother’s upstate Onondaga County house. Come midday, on June 1, Rotondo is a free agent. So, ABC, you’re on the clock. You have got roughly one week to arrange the “Bachelor” property — a not-so-modest 7,500-square-foot mansion in Agoura Hills, Calif. — for the long-haired, bearded Rotondo. That’s, in case you’re prepared to simply accept the type of scores that will make Donald Trump choke on his KFC three-piece. Let me put it in plain language: In the event you don’t make this man your latest Bachelor, you’re lacking an enormous alternative. The unemployed 30-year-old captured America’s coronary heart this week after his personal dad and mom sued to evict him from their house. For eight lengthy years, he’s been residing there rent-free, refusing to heed 5 earlier eviction notices. He even turned down their $1,100 incentive to fly the nest. Now that’s conviction. Certain, he’s an unorthodox candidate for “The Bachelor,” whose conveyor-belt contestants all appear to be they performed faculty soccer, dabbled in steroids and modeled underwear for the Kmart round within the low season. All of them have good hair, completely white tooth and funky jobs. However this father of 1 doesn’t verify any of these packing containers. Fairly, Rotondo — who sued Finest Purchase after they terminated him as a result of he wouldn’t work on Saturdays — is an intoxicating mixture of George Costanza and Ignatius J. Reilly. He’s indignant, freeloading, shameless — a reality-TV producer’s dream. And, as an added bonus, he doesn’t appear to have some other commitments in the intervening time. What a breath of recent air! Bachelor Nation may put me on a terrorist watch listing for this proposal. However hear me out: This complete charade has grow to be as formulaic because the algebra I by no means handed. We meet the stud and his lovely dimples. Then enters a parade of feminine hopefuls in final yr’s promenade attire speaking about their desires as they freebase chardonnay. The Kmart underwear mannequin makes out with just a few of them after which makes them cry when he deports them from his reality-TV fiefdom. After narrowing the group down to some fortunate women, he visits the heartland properties of mentioned hopefuls, the place he’ll trick the dad and mom into pondering he’s fascinated with their daughter as a substitute of locking in a spot on subsequent season’s “Dancing With the Stars.” The stud then takes two women to an unique location and makes a business for his or her vacationer board whereas pretending to deliberate about who will get the ultimate rose: Will he select the blonde with the proper boobs, or the brunette with the proper boobs? In the event you’ve seen one, you’ve seen all of them. If I need to watch reruns, “Seinfeld” airs each evening at 11. Final season, the race-car-driver man Arie Luyendyk needed to do a nationally televised Mexican hat dance on that poor woman’s coronary heart to maintain issues spicy. The “Bachelor” of us have to shake it up — and Rotondo has already managed to captivate America. Half prospect, half challenge, he’s the human embodiment of failure to launch. I could possibly be mistaken, however I don’t assume my dream Bachelor could be in it for the celebrity. He’d be in it to discover a good woman who has good dad and mom, who’ve a very nice home the place he can reside for the subsequent eight years. He has nothing however his coronary heart — and a damaged down Volkswagon Passat — to supply the women, however that’s how we’ll realize it’s really love. Producers most likely sacrifice reside chickens hoping for jaw-dropping twists like final yr’s finale. So think about the type of high-voltage shock they’ll get when Rotondo palms out the ultimate rose and slips the Neil Lane ring on his girl’s delicate finger. As he and his future Mrs. are because of stroll off into the sundown, Rotondo merely refuses to depart the sprawling compound. No sir, he ain’t going anyplace. He’s going to disregard at the least 5 eviction letters from the proprietor of the mansion. Then the drama actually begins. Spinoff metropolis, sweetheart. Share this: https://nypost.com/2018/05/25/put-deadbeat-michael-rotondo-on-the-bachelor-asap/ The post Put deadbeat Michael Rotondo on ‘The Bachelor’ ASAP appeared first on My style by Kartia.